Ryan Andrews goes on the hunt for some lunchtime loving in Wan Chai.

Depending when you visit, Wan Chai can have two very different personalities. During the day it’s a hive of activity with shoppers buzzing in and out of stores, office workers queuing up for cheap eats at the countless cafes and cha chaan tengs, and middle-aged expats loafing around sipping pints in bars. In the evening, the district pulses with activity of a different sort, with raucous parties, scantily clad girls beckoning at every corner, and enough booze flowing to sink the US Navy. You might know what to expect when you visit Wan Chai’s clubs in the evening, but have you ever wondered what goes on during the day at these discos? Turns out they serve food. Who knew? We set out to see who and what is being served, and ranked them on our stiletto scale.
 

Makati Pub and Disco
Thankfully, the only working girls here were of the office-bound variety.  The white-collar lunch crowd sat on mismatched furniture that had been set up haphazardly on the disco floor. Staff clad in Jägermeister shirts scrambled to feed a full house, all choosing from the set menu of chicken, fish, or rice, while men in ties ate on banquettes where hookers would be plying their trade later that evening. 

I opted for the set lunch with chicken that included cream of chicken soup (I use the term ‘cream’ lightly). The chicken was covered in a cloying white sauce and the soup was dishwater thin. It was serviceable and cheap but so is any cha chaan tang – with the added bonus of not being in a disco. $35 for set. 94-100 Lockhart Rd, 2866 3928.
 

Dreams II
My female colleague tagged along on this one after raising an eyebrow at my suggestion for lunch. Her disposition didn’t improve as we tromped down the stairs to the basement. “This smells like the night before,” she said. I was curious of how she might know but didn’t pry. This place made Makati look like Caprice. Chicken, steak, pork, or fish sets were the choice on offer.

We were served a couple of pork chops in an insipid tomato sauce containing black olives, pickles and carrots thrown in with no rhyme or reason. It was inedible. If the food needed a rethink, the interior needed an industrial scrub job. We were once again surrounded by a business crowd, some who had to relocate because of a leaky air conditioner. Why eat in a dungeon with so many cheap options above ground? My colleague might have said it best; these people were coming for familiarity and sustenance. They knew what they were getting, even if what they were getting wasn’t good. $38 for set. 42-50 Lockhart Rd, 2865 9883.
 

Galaxy
Uninspiring as the first two spots were, I was encouraged by the line at the door here. The place smelled as though it was recently disinfected and had no mystery spots on the floor. Things were looking up. It was so crowded I had to belly up to the bar. The gravelly voiced host looked like he hadn’t seen the light of day in a while. I went against all rational thinking and ordered the fish with spaghetti set.

The soup was creamy, not watery. The fish came out nicely browned, with a buttery flavour, while the freezer-burned veggies added some colour. The guy next to me was chomping on a roasted chicken leg that actually had me drooling. I counted about 85 people in the place with more clamouring to get in. With a flat screen TV and great air conditioning this is a place I would go underground for. $38 for set. 48 Hennessy Rd, 2866 1031.
 

Boracay
Another venue below street level, it didn’t conjure up images of the beach resort it takes its name from.  On an absolutely beautiful day the place was mobbed. Were there services in the back I wasn’t aware of? The only light was from a green exit sign and floodlights; it was like being on a submarine. Fortunately the food was better than the ambience, just barely.

The borscht was actually quite tasty and chock full of vegetables. I opted for a chicken in white sauce that resembled a chicken pot pie. The large portion was flavourful – at least after adding a dump truck full of salt and pepper. The soggy fries and mushy spaghetti were left untouched.  $32 for set. 20 Luard Rd, 2529 3461; boracaydisco.com.
 

Dusk Till Dawn
Should a place named Dusk Till Dawn be open during the day? Probably not, but they are.  The set lunch was a good value at $60 (choice of steak, lamb chops, and fish the day we visited) but the deliverables fell short on execution. The vegetable soup had chunky vegetables and an earthy flavor, which we enjoyed as a starter. But the lamb chops (what were we thinking?) were miniscule and stringy.

The vegetable medley was served cold and undercooked. We were surprised to find a full house, with some tables even reserved. It’s probably best to stick to ordering a gin and tonic at five in the morning amongst the convulsing masses. $60 for set. 76 Jaffe Rd, Wan Chai, 2528 4689.

Cinta-J
With an address like ‘69 Jaffe’ you’d think Cinta-J would be much seedier than it actually is. Located on the ground level with a worn-torn wooden interior, this is a proper restaurant with an extensive menu filled with Filipino delights such as pork, pork and more pork. At lunch it is filled with office workers as they offer eight different lunch sets for $55 each. We had a mixed platter featuring chicken wings, fried beef cubes, hardboiled egg with curry, yellow rice and potato with chilli.

The Filipino-tinged lunch was fresh and properly spiced and the service was excellent. They offer a takeout window as well for those really in a rush. Attracting a mostly Filipino and Indonesian crowd with live music until 5am, this Wan Chai warrior has the best of both worlds, day and night. $55 for set. 69 Jaffe Rd. Wan Chai, 2529 6622.


 
Read the feaures:
A guide to going out and getting off
Money shots: A look at the Hong Kong Porn Industry
Into the great wide open: A guide to sex outdoors
Meals on heels: Eating out in Wan Chai's discos
The best short-stay hotels

Interviews:
Ah Chi, volunteer for Zi Teng, sex workers’ support group
Katrien Jacobs, sex researcher & writer
Fabioloa Asustadiza, drag queen