Sex is everywhere. Even in Hong Kong, where words like ‘penetration’, ‘erection’, and ‘ejaculation’ still earn a conservative-minded frown, it surrounds us inescapably like a tight-fitting condom. You just need to know where to look. From the red-lights of Wan Chai to the leafy streets of Kowloon Tong, we’ve scoured the city, going to morally-questionable lengths in search of its sordid, fetish-loving, sado-masochistic underbelly. And although we’re thoroughly shagged, we’ve slapped together this deep-searching guide on where to shop, pick up, get off, and go after, as well as solicited some insightful tips from Hongkongers who have sex thrust in their faces every day. We know you’re getting turned on, so come with us and get off.

BUY
Condom shopping
Wrap your (or your partner’s) willy in one of the international products sold at Hong Kong’s preeminent rubbers store. We like the mini packs of flavoured condoms manufactured by Japan’s Nakanishi Gomu Kogyo, served up in small milk-carton-like boxes ($25 for a pack of three) at Sompson Store, Unit 2002, Fee Tat Commercial Building, 613 Nathan Rd, Mong Kok, 2329 0345; www.sampsonstore.com. Nearby, Condom Express Shop 3 boldly claims to be the biggest condom store in Asia; and while their rubber tree is indeed bountifully laden with cock caps of every size and colour, verifying their superlative boasts has proved near impossible. Shop F91, 1/F, Sin Tat Plaza, Mongkok, 2484 1688.

Fuckaware parties
In cussing-averse Hong Kong, they’re called ‘Passion Parties’, but it’s all the same thing: dildos, vibrators, lube and more, all up for testing in a small, private party environment. Call Passionately Yours to arrange one at your place. 9509 7871 (between 10am and 10pm), feelpassionately.com.

Sex shops
Sure, you can get everything online these days, but it’s always safer to try before you buy. There are several great options for sex-toy shopping on Hong Kong Island. We recommend the Sexual Well-being Store (2/F, 28 Russell Street, Causeway Bay, 2449 4128), Secret Wardrobe (2/F, 15B Wellington St, Central, 2810 9662) and Pink Pussycat (M/F, 3 Lan Kwai Fong, 2522 0618). On Kowloon-side, try the Joy Gift Shop (Shop L56, LG/F, Peninsula Centre, Tsim Sha Tsui East, 2366 4822; www.joygiftshop.com.hk) or G-Sexation (Room 2, 13/F, Good Hope Building, 5 Sai Yeung Choi Street South, Mong Kok, 8103 2816; www.g-sexsation.com).
 

Shop for sex toys online
Feeling shy? Why not do like you do for all your other private sexploits and take it online? Start by getting yourself a Hello Kitty vibrator at www.wanta.net and then browse the virtual shelves of www.hksextoys.com, www.loewie.com, and www.loveshop.com.hk for all the clit rabbits, butt plugs, nipple clips, jellied vaginas and silicone accessories your protuberances or orifices can handle.

GET LAID
Girlie bars
You can’t swing a kebab in Wan Chai without hitting a girlie bar. Traffik (3/F The Phoenix, 21-25 Luard Rd, Wan Chai) has taken over where Fenwick’s left over, packing its space with ladies of the night but adding a touch more class – or at least shinier décor. Laguna (1/F, 17-21 Fenwick St, Wan Chai) gets pumping on Sundays – at least until 9pm, when most of the moonlighting domestic helpers have to return to their employers – and the unstoppable Neptune II (B/F, 98-108 Jaffe Rd, Wan Chai) continues to draw old, white crowds every single night. We’ll let you find the rest.

Swing like you mean it
Feel like a gang bang? You’re not alone – join www.comexxx.com, and read Slice of life to find out more.

High-class escort agencies
You’re a man with needs and a lot of cash – so a trip down to Lockhart Road isn’t going to do it for you. You could instead use your filthy dollars to take your pick of Western or Asian escorts from Playmate (www.playmate.com.hk), Secret Woman (www.secretwomen.net), or My Secret Massage (hongkonglife.net), which offers a range of intriguing services, including foot fetish massages and golden showers. Better bring an emery board and a towel.

Sex141.com
All you ever wanted to know – and quite a bit more – about hiring hookers, finding brothels, and doing it dirty in Hong Kong, complete with prices, reviews, and profiles.

AdultFriendFinder.com
It’d be remiss of us not to mention a sex-dating site that claims 200,000 Hong Kong members. So here we go. Done!

GAY & LESBIAN

Towel Club HK
Underwear parties, Beefcake Thursdays, Stripped Saturdays, and Speedo Sundays. It can only be a gay cruising club – sorry, “men’s spa”. This place, which is part of an international chain, boasts a heated pool, private suites, steam rooms, mazes and a lot of hidden corners for you-know-what. 3/F, Amber Commercial Building, 70-74 Morrison Hill Rd, Causeway Bay, 2575 6730, www.towelclub.com.

Les Peches
And now for the ladies… a party at Fong Underground (Basement, California Entertainment Building, 34-36 D’Aguilar St, Central) on the first Tuesday of every month for lesbians and bi-sexual women. Send a message to lespechesinfo@yahoo.com to find out more.

Nude yoga for men
This is mainly for gay dudes, but there’s nothing to stop straighties from shedding their kits and lumbering up for one of these Friday night yoga sessions in Wan Chai. Hit up yogieagle@yahoo.com for more info.

Hong Kong Naturists
Why is that gay men have the monopoly on nudist groups in Hong Kong? Become a fan of ‘Hong Kong Naturists’ on Facebook and you might just find out why.

GO DEEPER

Katrien Jacobs’ blog
Sex researcher and City University academic Jacobs writes about porn and sex-related topics and posts videos exploring topics including the influence of Japanese manga on Hong Kong’s sex scene, and the question of whether or not Hong Kong has lost its mojo (can someone tell us where it was in the first place?). Check it out at libidot.org/blog.

Read about it
In Whispers and Moans (Blacksmith Books), Yeeshan Yang presents the fruits of a year’s worth of interviewing people involved in Hong Kong’s sex industry, including hookers, hostesses, toy boys, transsexuals, mama-sans and brothel owners. The book also forms the basis for director Herman Yau’s two films Whispers and Moans (2007) and True Women For Sale (2008). Reading: it’s what people did before the internet. See more at www.blacksmithbooks.com.

Support sex workers
And here you were thinking this was all about you getting off. Hah! You could instead get virtuous and help improve the lives of people working in Hong Kong’s sex industry by volunteering for, or donating to, sex worker support groups Zi Teng (www.ziteng.org.hk) or AFRO (www.afro.org.hk). Wouldn’t that make you feel better about that bender in Wan Chai?
 

HOOK UP

Bars to score in
Hey, we get nervous too – and we know it can be hard to meet people in a hurry. Just as well someone invented these things called bars, then. Hong Kong has an abundance of places where you can calm the nerves with a drink and then hunt out someone who’s looking for the same thing you are. Here are some of the top candidates:

Bar George (38-44 D’Aguilar St, Central, 2521 2202) Lan Kwai Fong’s quintessential meat market.

Dusk Till Dawn (76-84 Jaffe Rd, Wan Chai, 2528 4689) Late-night sanctuary for the horny and desperate.

All Night Long (9 Knutsford Terrace Tsim Sha Tsui, 2367 9487) Basically, Dusk Till Dawn for the Kowloon crowd.

Solas (G/F, The Centrium, 60 Wyndham St, Central, 3162 3710) A sophisticated take on the hook-up bar.

Home (LG/F, 17-19 Hollywood Rd, Central) Last port of call for Central revellers still without partners in the wee hours.

Mes Amis (81-85 Lockhart Rd, Wan Chai, 2527 6680) The place to be on Wednesday nights for an easy introduction to people of loose morals.

Pi (28/F, 8 Wyndham St, Central, 2868 1162) A bonanza of gals in jeans and sequins. 

Propaganda (1 Hollywood Rd, Central, 2868 1316) This institution is a magnet for the international gay crowd.
 
Volume (LG/F, 83-85 Hollywood Rd, 2857 7683) A boutique gay option with great visuals and a popular pole.

Read the feaures:
A guide to going out and getting off
Money shots: A look at the Hong Kong Porn Industry
Into the great wide open: A guide to sex outdoors
Meals on heels: Eating out in Wan Chai's discos
The best short-stay hotels

Interviews:
Ah Chi, volunteer for Zi Teng, sex workers’ support group
Katrien Jacobs, sex researcher & writer
Fabioloa Asustadiza, drag queen