Austrian fashion messiah Brüno has come to rescue the famous but unstylish with his uniquely candid words of wisdom.

Karl Lagerfeld
“Ich know Karl, but ich have to say lose ze ponytail! It looks like you have ein albino rat on your back. Vassever, ze guy is ein genius – ich vould put him to vork sorting out ze Middle East – he made ze boiler suit vork vith ein stiletto, he could easily get ze Israelis to vork with the Palestinians.”

Silvio Berlusconi and his wife
“She needs to dress him in something vith ein leash. Not for kinky S und M – so she can chain him up und keep him away from all ze girls. Ich vould not leave him alone vith ein Sunday roast!”

Amy Winehouse
“Ich love Amy! She should push zat whole junkie chic thing more. She could be really daring und have ein bracelet made of syringes or ein crack pipe necklace.”

Quentin Tarantino
“Zis man should do everything he can to distract from his face. Ein T-shirt vith joke titzen should do ze trick.”

Ali G
“A white guy in black guy’s clothes – zat’s like being given a box of chocolates und finding a scheisse inside. Ich love black guys; I’m a chocaholic. Earlier zis year ich spent three weeks canoeing off ze coast of East Africa in ze hope I’d be kidnapped by zose incredibly hot Somali pirates.”

Larry David
“Zis is ein man who clearly does not care about his image. He looks so drab. Ich am thinking something bold like ein rainbow-coloured jumpsuit. Or maybe white leathers. Anything to counter his ‘Eastern Bloc’ look.”

Carla Bruni and Nicolas Sarkozy
“Zere is one thing wrong mit ze way Sarkozy looks – it’s zat Carla Bruni who follows him around everyvhere he goes. She’s about three feet taller zan him! He needs to start vearing platform shoes.”

Keith Richards
“Ich like zis look! He is going for ze whole rock ’n’ roll pirate thing. It is like Johnny Depp meets ein exhibit from Gunther von Hagens.”

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Bruno on style
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