Lynch the Lamma mutt murderer
Who let the dogs die? Who? Who? Who? That’s what they’re asking in the latest Lamma dramma (what the local hippies call a crisis on the cooky, quirky Hong Kong island). Was it the butler? Nope, you don’t get many of them on Lamma’s side of the channel. Was it Colonel Mustard? Not him either. He disappeared with the colonial days. Basically, no-one knows who’s been poisoning the pooches – and there’s been few, um, leads so far.
For those who’ve missed the news, that eclectic mix of colourful expats and rural Hongkongers we call ‘Lammarites’ are worried that a phantom dog poisoner is at large after eight expired canines were recently reported. The octet have gone to poodle heaven – although the death toll could be much more, according to islanders. True, there’s a beastly amount of dogs on Lamma, and a fair amount of them are mangy mutts, but man’s best friend is now looking over his tail for the next invisible attack.
Word has it the dogs died after apparently lapping up bait – probably meat laced with paraquat (a lethal weed-killer) – between Yung Shue Long, Yung Shue Wan and Taiping. Some islanders claim that more than 10 dogs have died over the past month – but not all cases have been reported. And it’s not the first time it’s happened either. In fact, it’s happened on a pawful of occasions over the past few years.
Lammarite Sheila McClelland’s dog was poisoned on the island a few years ago, prompting her to found the Lifelong Animal Protection Society. She tells Time Out: “The poisoning affects us all – the dogs, cats and other mammals who die in agony, the families who lose their loved ones, the children at risk from poisoning and the wider community which has a killer in its midst who spreads highly dangerous toxins in public areas. Many people are walking in the middle of the roads and paths to reduce the risk.
“There is nothing any dog or child could do to deserve such a torturous death,” she adds. “There is no excuse for this very cruel and antisocial act. This person must be found and punished to the full extent of the law.”
Some Lammarites are preparing to play super-sleuth (or pet detective) as animal protection group SPCA has not yet decided whether it will offer up a $160,000 reward for anyone who can find the culprit. There is such a reward in place for catching the infamous dog poisoner in the Bowen Road area, above Wan Chai.
And, on top of the possibility of a reward, it’s an off-the-wall, arty community on Lamma. Everyone knows each other’s business, so somebody, somewhere has more than just an inkling on the identity of this Rover Ripper and why he or she has taken it upon themselves to target poor, defenceless doggies.
It is a little weird, to say the least. Most dogs are well behaved on the island and, save for some comical barking at those natives who travel on two wheels, there’s barely any trouble. So it’s got to be either someone with an anti-canine grudge or just a cretinous psycho with an axe to grind.
Either way, we hope the Lamma tittle-tattlers get into a little huddle and swap shaggy dog stories so they track down the killer – and, maybe, a decent reward to boot. Because if they don’t, it may be dogs today – but it could be hippies tomorrow. Or are we barking up the wrong tree?
Matt Fleming
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asinine, inaccurate and crass - employ some decent writers please
This is one of the most patronising and badly researched articles I've read for a while. Humour is usually earned. A collection tired stereotypes and hackneyed puns does not automatically make the article funny. As to whether or not this should be a humorous story at all, I'd ask the author and cartoonist to look at these pictures and consider: http://www.lamma.com.hk/nick/wanted_poster_3_155_copy_120.jpg By the way, the commonly accepted spellings for one of the vernacular words is "kooky", and I don't think anyone else has seen the word "Lammarite" before. I hope Mr Fleming didn't get paid for this dross.
Do your research properly Fleming ayou arse hole
The old "Lamma - the hippie island" story is getting really old and frankly I'm so tired of it. It's stereotype from back in the early nineties being rewarmed again and again by uninspired columnists. How about using this incident to actually write about how fucked up this all is, instead turning it into an arrogant piece about weird islanders, who care about animals. No, wait it's supposed to be provocative, but then again it's not even slightly amusing, which I fear was the initial intention.
Matt Fleming I am truly shocked. What an awful piece of lazy journalism about what is actually a sensitive topic. You are a First Grade jackass. THIS is what you want the public to read when there is a serious and lethal problem in one of Hong Kong's islands? What an idiot.
Can't believe the level of insensitivity and dullness of the article. I'm not very familiar with 'Timeout' but guess I'm never coming back to read any piece like this piece of xxit... I really wish Mr. Fleming actually had the tiniest interest in what is really going and decided to write something worthwhile instead of wasting readers' time.
I think he's trying to be funny, but this is really not an article Time Out should be proud of
I was going to write a tirade against this hack 'journalism,' but Hunter S. Thompson said it best; "As far as I'm concerned, it's a damned shame that a field as potentially dynamic and vital as journalism should be overrun with dullards, bums and hacks, hagridden with myopia, apathy, and complacence, and generally stuck in a bog of stagnant mediocrity."
Doesthis Flemming dweeb get paid for spouting old, tired cliches and belittling the very real emotional pain feltby those people who have lost a dog? or cat? I bloody hope not! Incidently, there has been no call for a lynching - we simply want the police to care about Lamma people as much as they care about the rich dog owners in the midlevels. Lamma is a relaxed place with good people who care about there pets - that's a large part of why we live there. It's a better environment for dogs than most parts of HK. This article and the accompanying illustration are an insult and very badly done. Did those responsible really think about them before they were published? And where is the warning to tourists? For the safety of their dogs, visitors to Lamma should be told to leash and even muzzle their dogs. And then there's the risk to children. This is not a case of 'tittle-tattling'. this is animal abuse, which is illegal in nearly every civilized country in the world. Will prick flemming write a more sensitive and serious article when a child is harmed due to this? paraquat is banned in the UK and a license is required in the US. This is not 'a bunch of hippies' over-reacting. And a great deal more than 10 dogs have been lost. Reports aren't made because people feel no one cares what happens on lamma. Police don't take it seriously and clearly neither does this magazine, which I will now only use as kindling. I believe an apology is due, but I doubt you have the honourable nature required to print one.
Not a particularly original or clever column, but I have to say, I'm not mourning the dead dogs. There are way too many mangy-ass muts on Lamma and many of the owners let them sh*t everywhere. Lamma could be such a nice place, but it's run-down; there's random trash and detritus everywhere; and it's overrun with ugly dogs (the way people humanize their pets while eating meet from battery farms in southern china won't win their silly pooches my sympathy). And what's up with the Lamma architecture? Weird blocky tiled buildings do not an island paradise make. So Mr. Flemming, go easy on those canned puns, but make light of Lamma anytime.
Very arrogant of him completely dismissing a very serious issue which is dear to all dog owners in Lamma as if the dogs' lives and their owners' love for them are not worthy at all. A stupid jerk who is incapable of empathy and sympathy and not even have the intelligence to realise he is not the least bit funny. I hope his conscience search him.
Matt, you're a pathetic idiot. how dare you take our island's tragedy and turn it into this lame version of events boycott Time Out Magazine until Matt Flemming publicly apologizes for the insensitive nature of this article - with the same word count.
lammalover69 hope we don't find out who you are. what does architecture and trash have to do with the senseless, cruel and vicious MURDER of nearly two dozen dogs? You're no better than Flem! loser
Wow you pathetic excuse for a human being....As your surname well describes you, I HOPE YOU CHOKE ON THAT FLEM.. Believe it or not we are not Aliens on Lamma, but then again your so ignorant you probably think you need a passport to travel to us. Fell free anytime LOVE to meet you.
Mr flemming you are a patronizing arrogant git. If you have spent any time on Lamma you would realize what a vibrant and close community this is. I cannot believe that you have chosen to churn out the same tired stereo types. I am an engineer and my wife is a doctor and we have lived here almost 15 years. How dare you patronize us in this unforgivable fashion.
Most comments seem to focus more on the Lamma stereotype than the dog poisoning...are we all missing the point here? Instead of judging Mr. Fleming, maybe we should spend our time trying to look for the real culprit. Mr.Fleming may have used the term 'Lammarites' but it seems like some people here have used far worse terms. This article brought light to a serious situation and why don't we work to solve it instead of shooting the messenger?
Oh dear, this attempt at breezy humour has backfired bigtime. Firtly it isn't very funny. More important, though, even if the author had foumnd something hilarous to say, the subject matter - loved pets dying a slow and painful death, and irresponsible placing of deadly poisons in places children go - is not suitable for either humour or satire. Perhaps we should lay off the author as suggested - the writing indicates he is probably quite young and inexperienced, so should not shoulder all the blame. If the editors had been doing their jobs properly this cringeworthy piece woiuld never have seen the light of day.
How on earth did this make the page? Making fun of the poisoning of people's pets isn't clever or remotely amusing, whether you're a dog owner or not. Mr Fleming clearly isn't, but he should at least do his research properly. This is the sort of drivel that stopped me bothering to pick up HK mag. Any more crap like this and I won't renew my subscription.
Bet Mr Fleming has never had a pet, nor do I think he should ever have one, given this senseless heartless piece of crap.
"Time Out Hong Kong reserves the right to remove or edit comments that are potentially defamatory or offensive." Why then publish have this tasteless, insensitive, potentially defamatory and downright offensive article? I certainly won't be renewing my subscription unless I see a sincere apology accompanied by an article focusing on the dangers of potentially lethal substances - banned elsewhere - that are easily available in Hong Kong and used in a manner which endangers public health.
This doesn't deserve to be called journalism. "Colourful expats and rural Hong Kongers"? Really? Normal people live on Lamma too. And their dogs are being poisoned. It's not funny. How 'bout we lynch the idiot writer and cartoonist who produced this sputtering abortion of a clueless article...
Matt Flemming I am a long time resident of Lamma; I have just left the Lammacolourfulhippie hang out known as the pub where we talked a bit about this article.It turns out you used to live on Lamma! You drank in the same bars; went to some parties of the people who lost dogs; hung out on the hippie isle! You even came to my brother in law`s colourful hippie BBQ. Amazing hey folks? This guy masqueraded as one of us dog muck spreading hippies. Aw Matt, shame on you! Your name of course is now Mudd.
A bloody awful piece on so many levels. Badly written, patronising and infantile. Its attempt to rouse a snigger from the snoberatti is as lamentable as its prose. Oh, and a tip for Time Out: hire a copy editor who 1/ Speaks English and 2/ Can read.
As a regular visitor to Lamma, an island I now call my second home, I have gained a great appreciation to all who reside on Lamma, I was told about the "hippies" by my Aussie colleagues, what I found was an amazing group of people who are proud of their heritage, proud of the unique bonds that are forged on this unique island and proud of the relaxed and friendly atmosphere that keeps me coming back. The point the author has missed, and so eloquently pointed out by others is the inhumane and cruel way these beautiful animals die, a slow and torturous death. A very poor article indeed, very sloppy journalism, something I would expect to read from Mr Murdochs publications. I am a proud "adopted" Lammarite!
I feel really upset after reading this. Really the matter is not the island is hippies island or not. The point is that this thing will kill the dogs and could harm human as well. And Lamma island has a lot of families and they have kids. What if they are poisoned what if your kid step on Lamma and got poisoned will you still think the same thing?? Now people know that what happen no one will come to the beautiful island again. Really shame on you
I think Mr Phleming you had better not visit Lamma again. The place is far too classy for for journalists whose work barely reaches the standard of a fifth former's in a school magazine. Shame on you Time Out, I shall not renew my subscription.
As a Lamma resident of over 15 years I was absolutely appalled that the editors of Time Out allowed this pathetically juvenile bit of heinous drivel into their publication. Yes part of the fault lies with the snot-nosed little twat that wrote it, however the majority of the blame lies with those that oversee content, who should have known better than to allow such a serious issue to be covered in this callous and poorly written manner. Shame on you.
The tone of the article is in poor taste considering the nature of the subject, but what is far more disturbing is the accompanying cartoon depicting a heap of presumably poisoned Lamma Hippies, being pondered over by a couple of dogs and a fellow 'Lammarite' What is a Lammarite btw? Does the fact that this cartoon contains all living dogs and a heap of dead hippies demonstrate something about the artist's caricatured conception of Lammaites? I mean it is a caricature - but perhaps s/he actually thinks in caricatures?
There I was, hovering on the brink of buying a subscription to Time Out - then the true colours of this rag were revealed by the complete and utter lack of even the most basic editorial control. That this poorly-penned piece was even produced in the first place casts serious doubts on any possibility of a journalistic career for Phlegmming - but that it was even considered for publication should lead immediately to the sacking of whomsoever dares call themselves editor at the time. Rather than an obvious lack of blue penning, a tirade of blue language from TO's editorial office should have made the utterly contemptible nature of this piece clear - that it was published demands a full, unequivocal and abjectly apologetic retraction without further delay. Simultaneously, that poor excuse for a publication should immediately divert whatever investigative skills remain - after Flemming has been summarily discharged - to discovering exactly who is behind these cowardly attacks on defenceless pets - before an innocent child is similarly affected. Oh, and as for a subscription - forget it. Disgustedly yours, Another Islander.
I don't know who you are Matt Fleming but this article seems to be a vehicle for promoting your own brand of tautologous yet inane and exceedingly trite over wordage ...with incredibly little regard for the subject matter. Cheap journalistic trickery indeed. I am appalled, you clearly have zero first hand knowledge of this community and have based your "facts" upon " a dated hearsay reputation of the 1970's. Get off your sofa, get up to date, visit Lamma, get informed before you shame yourself like this. Surely a journalist has some integrity and a personal requirement for credibility..... I know now that if I see any article with your name in the byline, it will be as this is, unresearched buffoonery.
what a rubbish!! come on! hippies?! hilarious! what planet the writer living now?!! mr.matt fleming,no one ever teach you the word "respect"?
There are way too many ugly dogs on Lamma! These people's misplaced obsessional love of their pooches in a complex world of suffering is arbitrary and ABSURD! You've made animals that have evolved to mirror your emotions into a repository of your confused feelings. Clean up Lamma -- it could be such a nice place! A good start would be fewer ugly-ass dogs, and better shit clean-up practices. The word "Murder" doesn't yet apply to animals. And unless all of you avoved doglovers69 are devout vegans your doggie love is fundamentally arbitrary and ridiculous. There are lots of big real problems in the world, you saps.
this is smarmy and ignorant, is this the kind of writing what passes for TiMEOUT journalism, truely trashy
Dear Time Out , According to my research (You may have come across that term) as little as a teaspoon of Paraquat has serious and irreversible consequences. This is an incredibly toxic substance that can take up to 30 days to kill an animal or child who ingests it. Think liver damage; think kidney failure; think a slow, torturous suffocation due to lung damage. Really, the giggles to be had. This is hilarious stuff. I can’t tell you how much the Lamma community enjoyed reading Matt Fleming’s comic take on the deaths of our pets and the risk to our children. 20 or more dogs die horrible, needless deaths from a substance scattered near a kindergarten and primary school, and you choose to publish a cruel, ill-conceived, lazy, frivolous, glib, “article” on the subject. What larks! I won’t bother to critique the atrocious writing style, or the clichéd rubbish about Lamma “hippies,” (who ARE these people?) How have I failed to meet them in over ten years living on the island? I’d happily give your “journalist” a few lessons on journalistic ethics. In time I may even be able to teach him how to write a decent article. I could possibly teach your editors how to edit and to sift the drivel from the worthy of publication. Pity you couldn’t afford my fees.
Really? Matt? Come on...have you not owned a pet? This is a sad article...Matt...you think this is "weird" dogs die at the hands of one who puts the poison down....TIME OUT....I am never going to pick up , or buy your magazine again. NEVER and this will become a FB Post....
oh dear. Clearly a lot of people choose to live on Lamma cause they can have the enjoyment & love of pets & freedom to have them. Some of these animals are not young and have brought much love & happiness to their owners. The shock of them being poisoned and dying is not a joking matter. You know not just hippies live on Lamma and not just hippies have pets. I guess TO got lots of 'great' feedback to this column and Mr. Matt Fleming will be promoted. I'll defollow TO now on twitter and facebook. Cant be seen to support this sort of writing
Pathetic article; badly researched and (judging by his facebook page - as well as this article) written by a complete moron. Time Out Hong Kong has always been like the inbred illegitimate son of the Time Out brand - this article just proves it.
Sorta trending on what Lanmalover69 was saying... yay we both share '69'. anyway... I really wonder if everyone actually read the article in its entirety instead of giving it a cursory glance and focusing on the word "hippie". Since when did that word really have a derogatory meaning? I think being called a hippie can be somewhat flattering. A peace loving peoples with a carefree attitude towards life, sounds pretty good to me. What seems to be going on are a bunch of people getting overly defensive because their egos are all butt hurt. And "what about the children", sounds like a crazy person screaming nonsensical gibberish-hastly jumping the gun before any bullets have been fired. Seriously if any child on Lanma were in danger of eating poison off the ground, I think there would be a bigger parenting issue that has to be looked into. As far as the article goes, it doesn't really seem like its ignorant or trashy. I kinda appreciated the clever puns. And at the end of the story, he does hope that the killer is captured and it does say that the dogs die an agonizing death. The severity is there. I don't think anyone is hoping that more dogs die, or that the situation isn't serious. More people outside of Lanma should comment on this thread because its so incredibly biased right now. All I can say is- put away your pitch forks and your torches and really step back a little and give it another read. I think a lot of the comments that i've been reading have a bit more to do with "hippies" and not the dogs. Perhaps the Lanma community is a bit confused with where their anger really lays. There is a lot of misdirected displacement.
I hope more Lamma dogs die. In fact, a puppy plague would be a boon to the island. Follow that with a serious island-junk/trash cleanup and you have a fresh start. The setting is beautiful but the doggie-loving denizens of Lamma have let the place go to shit. Just because a dog seems to smile at you while it eats the food you feed it doesn't mean that it's any less of a parasite than a rat, you drones!
I live on Lamma and I own a dog. Firstly, I concur with many of the thoughts here. The article was written in bad taste. Matt, this wasn't the right time to get out the 'pun book'. You should definitely print an apology. Secondly, despite the language, it's obvious Matt has spoken to the right people, i.e. SPCA and LAPS. The research has been done. Though something that Matt has failed to draw more attention on are the possible reasons why dogs are being poisoned in the first place. This is something that all dog owners need to have answered. Some owners can probably find the answers by themselves. Though the majority of owners are responsible (i.e. leashed when appropriate, cleaning up after their mess etc), there are some that allow their dogs to run free. Again, the majority of these dogs are usually well behaved but some do cause a nuisance to locals, business owners and tourists alike. It is these irresponsible owners that COULD be the cause of the 'anti-canine grudge'. Over the past weeks, it's been good to see owners being more 'responsible' but this has been as a result of these attacks rather than general canine etiquette. Therefore, could it be surmised that if the increase in responsibility had been apparent from the beginning, the poisonings would not have happened? I can not believe that there are 'cretinous psychos' on Lamma, this would allude to the fact that we do not know our own community.
Seriously how many bad puns can one article have? This is a horribly written article, there are actual writers without jobs, you should be ashamed to be employed.
Oh Matt, there are some things that you can make fun of, but pets beings poisoned is not one of them! You had done your research and knew about the topic so what a shame you chose to make light of a serious and sad series of events. Shame on you.
wow, so many shame on you comments. whats really is a shame is David Carradine dying in a closet from auto asphyxiation gone wrong, from a hooker that didn't know what she/he was doing. An article that brings attention poisoned dogs is a good thing. The more press concerning the issue the better. At least someone cares enough to write about the topic. Its obvious that a few commenters aren't the sunshine embracing peace loving "hippie." Instead, everyone is playing the shame game. Casting shame is quite unattractive.
A Personal Message from Time Out Last issue’s Slice of Life (‘Lynch the Lamma mutt murderer’) caused some anger, not to mention hurt, among a number of our Lamma readers. Flippancy coupled with the death of family pets certainly do not make for fine bedfellows, and Time Out acknowledges the ill-judged puns and the offence they may have caused. That was certainly not our intention. But the nucleus of the column still remains: Whoever is cruelly poisoning the “poor, defenceless” dogs on Lamma island must be apprehend and served the full weight of the law. Time Out has always championed the ethical treatment of animals, and pet welfare, as past issues justify. Residents of Lamma, we are sorry if we caused you hurt. And we are with you. INFORMATION: If anyone has any information regarding the dog incidents on Lamma, please contact the SPCA Animal Rescue & Cruelty Case Investigation (24-Hour Hotline) at 2711 1000 THIS ARTICLE IS NOW CLOSED FOR FURTHER COMMENTS.